Journal Entry: What's Up with My Life So Far

Here I am, finally self-hosting a little site for all my musings and writings. I've come a long way since my blogging days in high school to this point and I am really proud of myself. I feel like I'm finally starting to become an adult (whatever that means). And I feel like with it, comes the burden of realisation and self-reflection that not everything is as easy as I thought it would be.

Before I start on the less positive side of things, I want to take a moment and be proud of myself. I want to say that I am so, so proud of myself for accomplishing what I initially set out to do prior to the start of my MA course. I mean... I did it. I actually did it. I received a distinction for my Masters' in International Fashion Journalism. All those long nights of crying, whining, complaining and more crying finally paid off. It was hard - and I mean, really hard. It was nothing like how I envisioned it to be because there were just so many moments of self-doubt and confusion throughout the entire process. I am so glad that that chapter of my life is over and that I achieved what I wanted to do. And then there's the next coming chapter of my life...

The real world AKA finding employment.

I knew it would be tough for us international kids but oh my god did I underestimate just how hard and how frustrating it would be. It's been a couple of months now and though I've had several interviews, it seems that the only thing hindering me from getting employment is yes, you guessed it, my passport. I cannot begin to tell you or describe my frustrations cause there simply isn't enough words to paint my emotions. It is a combination of disappointment, sadness, confusion, perplexion and yet I feel a sliver of hope. I'm surprised but for reasons not clear to me right now, I'm still a tiny bit hopeful. I'm trying my hardest to hang on to this journey.

To all my friends who may be experiencing the same phase of life, I'll just say: I feel you and let's not give up.


Delicious flat white pictured above is from Porter + Cole